Relaxation
by smoshy.fever1
Summary: Ike and Sheik talk about random things, from their relationships to the vast amount people they live with. Mentioned IkexLink Mentioned SheikxMarth
1. Chapter 1

Trying something different here. There's no actual main focus on a pairing, but they are mentioned! Ike and Sheik are just chilling out and talking about random things.

* * *

"Today was brutal," Sheik said as he sat in the chair on the first floor balcony next to Ike.

"You're telling me! I feel like I was in every match we had today, I'm that sore."

"Shut up, at least you have a sword to use, and one that's very strong, might I adD," The Sheikah enunciated the "d" sound as he pulled down his cowl.

"True. So how you been? You're my best friend, besides Link, yet I haven't talked to you in a while. Where you been?" the bluenet asked as he removed his cape.

"Everywhere. Auntie Impa was sick for a while, so training was out for like a week. And that screwed me over in the end because she decided to make up for the lost week in a single week, which meant training twice as hard every day."

Ike took off his bandanna, his indigo locks falling wherever they felt they needed to go. He chuckled and closed his eyes as he leaned back even more into the red chair.

"Sucks to be you. And not just for training," he chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the blond asked as he closed his red eyes, having a feeling what his friend was referring to.

"Marth," Ike said, laughing.

"Shut up! Yeah, he's pissed I have no energy for sex, but that's not my fault!"

"I swear dude, this diet is not healthy for him. He's so pissed all the time!" The mercenary was almost in tears he was laughing so hard.

"Yeah, because Link would so make it a week without you." Sheik replied sarcastically.

"He could actually, his sexual desires are nowhere near as high as any of ours. It's vice versa for us,"

"Well then I hope he puts you on restriction again, then you'd know what my princey is feeling," Sheik said in a sad-cute tone, feeling bad his love was so deprived.

Ike's mouth fell open, "That's a... terrible thing to say... You cruel, cruel man..."

"You act like you haven't heard worse!"

"Only... one thing has been said to be that is... worse than that..."

Sheik chuckled, "What could possibly be worse than that?"

"So... On my birthday last year, Link noted how I still look relatively the same... So he started calling me..."

The Sheikah's red eyes went open,

"No... He didn't...!"

Ike gulped, "He did..."

"No way! He called you an-"

"DON'T say it!"

A certain, green-clothed Hylian happened to be walking outside to ride his horse, and smirked. He loved how Ike reacted to what he called him,

"Hey, my little uke!" he called, rolling on the ground immediately after

Ike stood up with his azure eyes wide open and his cheeks red, a rare sight.

"Link!" he whined, "You swore to never speak of that again!"

Sheik was on the floor, clutching his sides.

"Love you uke! I wanna fuck that tight ass tonight! Again!"

Ike turned a brighter, more brilliant shade of red, "It was one time! And you said you didn't like it as much as you though you would!"

"Still liked it! Later babe!"

Link, though with an immense struggle, managed to walk to the stables.

"No way! You let him FUCK you!?"

"It was a secret! A one time thing!" Ike defended.

"Not anymore! No wonder you couldn't sit three weeks ago! Ahhhhh hahaaaaaa!" the Sheikah cackled.

"Shut up, I know you let Marth fuck you more than once!"

Sheik sat up, "Yeah, but our size difference isn't that huge! He's a tad bit shorter than me, but Link is at your chest!"

"Fuck you man!"

"Can't, Link already did!"

Ike stood up to walk away, but the blond grabbed his wrist, "C'mon dude, I was just messin' with you."

"I know, I know. So, anything else new?"

"Mmm... Not really. But I did come to the realization today that my needles really do hurt like hell."

"What makes you say that? And it's true, by the way. Not to mention annoying when I'm trying to kick your ass." the mercenary commented.

"Kirby copied me today and used my tactics against me."

"I hear ya on that one, he used Eruption against me... And he copied Samus in her Zero Suit and kept stunning me. But it's worse when he takes my own lover's bow and arrow and uses it on me. It may not do much damage, but it adds up."

"True. Same with these little bastards," The Sheikah took out a needle and eyed "the little bastard".

"Yup. I'm hungry, but I really don't feel like asking Link to make me something to eat. He'll just laugh more and tell me I have to get on Epona and ride with him for a little while."

"Doesn't sound bad to me. I wish that's all it took to get Marth to cook."

"I don't exactly like horses..." Ike admitted.

"You know, you're starting to bring Ike the Uke to life, and I won't have a damn problem helping it be known."

"You know, I think that shoving a needle or two up your ass will get you to shut the hell up..."

"You opened the door, I just walked in and pushed your ass out." Sheik defended.

"You're as much of an asshole as Snake..."

"Hey!" a gruff voice shouted.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Ike asked.

"Ask again and I'll make you clean fatass' bathroom with a toothbrush, Uke-boy."

Ike groaned and Sheik began another fit of laughter.

* * *

Should I do more?


	2. Chapter 2

I decided I shall do another one. Maybe even more if you all like it. By the way, Ike and Sheik are NOT a couple, just best friends. I hate the couple Ike/Sheik romantically, but as friends is okay for me to write.

* * *

"I enjoy off days," Ike commented while seating himself in the red chair, just as he had done last week.

"So do I. Aren't we supposed to?" Sheik asked sarcastically.

"Shut up, you're hanging around Snake too much for my liking," the bluenet complained.

"Who else am I around to trade stealth tactics with?"

"Just don't let me catch you hiding in a cardboard box,"

"I dunno, they're pretty useful. Hell, when he made his grand entrance with it I liked it. You're being awfully picky lately... Did Link get you pregnant?"

Sheik could barely fit his sentence out of his mouth without laughing... Again. Ike's eyes went wide open and a soft blush sported his cheeks.

"No, jackass."

Ike sat in his humiliation and let the Sheikah male laugh it all out. After some time, the "sophisticated" and "mature" male calmed down.

"You done yet?"

"Yeah, I'm bored. Laughing at your pain can only last so long."

Ike smirked and said, "Don't worry, your time is coming."

"Is it as slow as you run? Because in that case it'll never catch up." Sheik teased. Outside of the arena, Ike was actually a very fast man, but once they were on a stage, all of that changed for some odd reason...

"Shut the hell up, ass. Marth and Sonic have got you beat." Ike pointed out with a grin of victory. For once, the Sheikah was not the best at something!

"Hey man, that's a sensitive topic!"

The mercenary just laughed at the man and relaxed. After a while, the blond decided to bring up something humiliating once again.

"So what happened after we departed last week?"

Ike arched an eyebrow, "What do you mean by that?"

"Link."

If looks could kill, Sheik would have been dead over and over again. By Ike's sword, by his own needles, a bunch of angry, red Cuccos...

"Well, I walked in the room about twenty minutes after since Pit got his bow stolen by Pikachu, and when I walked in Link was going through his cookbook. I couldn't look him in the eye though when he smiled at me, so I just gave him a thumbs up and looked away."

"Uh-huh, keep going." Sheik said, laughter already strolling out of his mouth, and he hadn't even heard the funny/embarrassing part.

"So he chuckles and hugs me from behind. I take off my shirt and turn around, still sore about Snake and... Yeah. Anyway, I leaned down to kiss him, but he pushed me away and said something under his breath, laughing his short ass off afterwards. I tossed my shirt away and looked at him, asking what the hell was so funny."

After Ike stopped, the Sheikah "aw'd".

"Why'd you stop?!"

"Because he started laughing about our uh... Conversation he joined in on temporarily."

"Okay..." The Sheikah was much too amused to let this story get away.

"He didn't respond really, he just sat there laughing while looking through the cookbook. I finally got him to crack, and I walked away afterwards, and then the little fucker starts singing."

"What'd he say?!"

Ike mumbled under his breath, Sheik not hearing it. He punched Ike's shoulder.

"Tell meeee!"

"He said... He said we were out of lube and that he was going in dry tonight."

Sheik was done. Weak. Tears ruining his cowl. His sides were hurting like holy hell, but that couldn't stop the laughter.

"Shut up man! It's all your fucking fault."

Sheik, picking up on what Ike was doing, joined in.

"You were the one who was all "Oh, I've gotta do an attack!" Nnnnnggg... You could've just walked away!"

"But you didn't you prick! So fuck you, you dumbass!"

"My knee!"

"Aw man..."

"Fuckin... Ow!"

"Ugh... M-my knee!"

"Aw man..."

Ike and Sheik succumbed to their laughter, falling on the ground from their chairs and clutching their sides.

Ike wiped a tear from his eye and and managed to sit back in his chair, unlike his Sheikah friend.

"Bro, what if Ivysaur fuckin' evolved and he and Pikachu got in a fight and that shit happened?"

"I doubt Pikachu would cuss. At least, in English anyway. All he says is "Pikachuuuuu!"!"

"I wonder what he's saying. I don't think I could talk like he does."

"Sure you can, it's easy. Pika pi, pika-chu!"

"Pikaaa!"

"That's literally all that damn mouse says." Sheik said with a roll of the eyes.

"Is there a single Pokémon that can speak English?" Ike asked.

"I don't know, ask Red."

The moment Sheik finished his statement, they heard a something that sounded dangerous. Both of the men turned around and went wide eyed.

Pikachu's red cheeks were sizzling with electricity, Samus behind him with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh hey Pikachu, I choose you go!" Samus said in a high voice.

"Pikachuuu!"

"Pikachu! Use... Thunder bolt!"

"Pika-chuuu!"

Ike and Sheik were shocked by thousands of bolts of lightning, Ike's hair smoking at the tips of his indigo locks, while Sheik's cowl was blacked out and he was coughing immensely.

Samus pet Pikachu's head while he snuggled up on her shoulder. He looked at the men he shocked and went,

"Pikachu!"

The bounty huntress walked away with her best friend, going to find Link and Marth and explain how Ike and Sheik might not be as pretty as the last time they saw them.

* * *

Anyone get the main thing in here? xD I don't own that either, by the way!


End file.
